My Dad

I am sitting her thinking about the night my father died. I never cried so hard. All the way to the hospital I drove, maybe 20 minutes. I had gotten a call at 7pm in the evening to come, come now. I knew it was the call that he was dying. I could feel it in my bones. I cried as I drove and when I got to the hospital I held out that 1% of hope I was wrong. The minute I got off the elevator, a nurse walked by with tears in her eyes ... I knew she had come from my father's hospital room. I knew he was dead. I walked down the hall and my brother was there, he just shook his head and look at the floor. I got to the room and the Emergency team was doing the last few shoscks and CPR. My mother was in shock, she had been there and witnessed the entire episode. She was hysterical. She was in shock. I entered the romm, and a few minutes later ... they "called it." Time of death; 7:49 pm. Just like a scene in a bad TV hospital show. Then they left the room. I held his still warm hand, kissed his forehead and cried like a baby. My Dad was just gone. He had a tube sticking out of his mouth and his body was life-less. I prayed for him. I walked around, went back into the room where his body layed, slowly I noticed his skin began to get colder, so harsh, so stark, so real. This was it. There was no bringing him back. He was gone forever. And I cried all night. I never felt sorrow like that in my life. I had no idea the human soul could feel so much pain. The pain cut through me like a knife splitting in two. And I stayed in the hospital for a couple of hours, kneeling over his dead body. Then going off into another room to cry some more. I can still feel the pain today, and it has been almost 9 years. My father's death is like a tatoo on my soul. An event I will never forget, as long as I live, it will be in vivid color, right in the forefront of my mind...... And that night I cried. I had lost my best friend in the world. I had lost one of the only people that really ever cared about me. And I cried .........