“Cunning, baffling, and powerful!” Until this past year, was a term that I had never taken the time to focus on. There were so many things that I had done to myself and others. After hitting rock bottom several times, I decided that I had to make some major changes. I was exhausted from the legal, financial, family, and health troubles that came from my choice to pick up the bottle. After making the decision to stop drinking, my life has improved dramatically. I am aware that I must never drink again. I know I have have to remain cautious and never get over confident. After all, I am only one drink away from my next drunk.
I started drinking at an early age. Personally, I thought drinking was the “norm.” My drinking increased and by the time I reached age 21, I was a full blown alcoholic. At age 21, I got my first DUI and within 10 years, I got two more. During that period of time, I was also arrested for domestic violence 3 times. My opinion was that no one was going to stop me from drinking, not even the law.
Keeping a steady job proved to be impossible. Why could I not find a job? The alcoholic in me blamed everyone and everything. I was not honest with myself that I was not going to find work until I was sane and sober. I was known as the “town drunk” and word spread that I was unreliable. When I was given the opportunity to work, I would only work long enough to get a couple of paychecks. I was finding it difficult to pay for classes, court fines, and general living expenses.
Growing up in a small close knit family, the drinking caused a lot of problems for my family. Not realizing they were not helping matters, they would help me out in so many ways. A lot of the times the help tended to be more destructive than beneficial. When the withdrawals first started, my family would try and talk me out of drinking. They knew however, that I would drink again so they would buy me a drink just hoping that I would drink that and that would be the end of it. The enabling soon stopped and the tough love started. This turned into 19 trips to detox, 5 trips to inpatient rehab, and countless ER visits.
Deteriorating physical health is what finally caused me to sit down and think about what I was doing to myself. I drank to get drunk and would literally drink a pint of whiskey in a matter of minutes. The last drink I took which was on June 6, 2012, instantly got me sick. I started vomiting blood. I was shaking like a leaf and I felt like I was going to die. I really wanted to die because I was afraid of going through the entire withdrawal process. I told myself that this too shall pass. I told myself, “NO MORE.”
Today, I nearly have one year of sobriety. I have realized that all the problems I faced were caused by my drinking. I have been able to gain and maintain a job. Quality of life has been something that has completely turned around. I have been able to rebuild the relationships with my loved ones. Life is something I enjoy rather than fear. If it weren’t for Alcoholics Anonymous, I possibly would not be here today. I am a testimony that with a little effort, hope, and a lot of support; sobriety and happiness are easily achieved.
by Guest Blogger - Domonick Arellano
Thomas Gillis
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